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Whoa  .. did it .. gathered my nerves and just send him a message. Turns out he was busy so no time to do the conversation. He would be around for me the next day, so set my hopes on that .. sadly once again it failed ..

Took us 5 days in total to get a moment on where we both where able to sit down and talk about things and we did. He was nice and soon after I got an invite, I am now a part of The Exodus Inquisition and the welcome was warm, everyone said welcome.

Noh is an angel .. her patience with me exceeds all thinkable limits.

She had to listen to my complaints and ramblings all the time while I was trying to get a hold on Zeon and he on me. She kind of stood in the middle of it all and never complained about it. I find that admirable and one of her true skills. Think it would not have been working in between us if she wasn’t.. I am not going to lie about it. I’m not easy to live with but she does it so naturally. Knows how to poke and mold me with such a ease I sometimes do not know what she just done but it helped me in one way or the other.

Spending time with her is nice, makes me happy and as I have had that experianced before in the past.

Sometimes I think back on those days on where we all where together and done insane but fun things, all 5 of us, heroics every night and just having fun .. somewhere it went wrong and we drifted apart, all with our own goals and things we wanted to do. Time went by and some succeeded, some gave up and others looked for new challenges as the current one was just not appealing anymore, it was worked out and managing almost on it’s own.

We lost contact, poked once a week or every 2 weeks. But not the way it was before and soon after people left. As did Noh, Staci and I for a while.

I once before left and gave up everything I had cause of someone I lost back than. After all that what had happened, being on the same place as she once been, made it hard.

When someone, not voluntary, is ripped away there is a emptiness, specially if you spend a lot of time with that person. Things remind you of her, people talk about her and places remind you of her .. it came to the point where the fun was gone, things where not interesting anymore and everyplace reminded yourself of her.

At that time it was time to start over again, new world, new people and new places to visit. It felt like the right thing to do.

Weird enough it seemed fate brought me to Noh, again it turned out to be afterwards. I gave numbers to each worlds and let the dice decide on where I would end up. Steamwheedle it was and I packed and travelled to there. Back than as Druid. Saw many guilds advertising and they wanted people, healers and tanks, as they are a rare breed it seems, was what they where looking for. Replied on some of them and one wanted me right away, so I joined them. No investigation towards the guild, what they did or how they where. Soo not like me but sometimes you have to dive in head first and see where and how it ends.

It worked out well and on a heroic I met her than, Noh, back than a shiny paladin in full armour she was breathtaking and awesomely skilled. Healing her was more than a mere pleasure. It made me feel tiny compared to her appearance. Carefully I winked and threw her a few kisses and flirts in the process to see if she would even notice it. Surprisingly enough she did and after the second time we done a heroic we stayed back and talked a lot. Well, she done the talking and I was just blushing away and looking for the words to reply towards what she said.

We spend more time together and her tanking skills where not the only awesome skills she had. Over time we spend a more and more time together with Staci and night, not to the liking of the guild and they decided to reclaim their tank and out of envy they wanted us to leave. But they where allowed to group together every night with the same people, we where not as we claimed their tank and they needed her for their own group. Sad moment, but seems that was the only way. So we did. Voluntarily or not.

We formed our own guild than, no option being kicked out of that one for sure and for a little while it all went fine than people went slowly their own way, I mainly followed Noh but when she was taken into an other guild as their main tank she could not refuse .. heck I did not wanted her to refuse. It was more than her passion to tank, so who am I to take away her passion and that what she loved to do.

I found my own new thing to do in the form of a raid community and spend a lot of time there, from being trial to even co-lead the place. I loved doing so and dedicated all my free time to it. Helping to make it work, iron out flaws and assist people where I could with my advice or opinions, battling against the evil monster called “emotionless writing” what caused some ager and frustration over time. A Medical condition changed that time spend there to a minimal and while I was struggling to get back on my feet, time flew by faster than I hoped for and soon I was behind on a lot of things, even on what was going on in the community .. I lost the touch and almost every time I thought I could do something, it was either already done or I missed the history about that one part and I was doing the wrong things. It made me insecure and maybe it was time that I stepped down, let other deal with it that where still up to speed and detail. Took me a long time to accept this part and than finally after another failed attempt I made the decision, time to give up and take it easy. Though it did not went that way as I planned it.. nothing really does in my life. People assume to know all and never really ask, draw conclusions and with it making up their mind, thinking they know it all. Nothing I can do there so I will leave it at that, the evil was done it seems and I was the devil in person.

Maybe someday they will think back and wonder if they where indeed right or maybe something did not add up right.

In the mean time I lost touch with Noh, the once a month pokes did not really make things happen and in the time I was sick I spend time with her, this time as huntress and later as the priest you now know now .. I think.

It made me realize that once again I lost what I cared for when I got back to the Steamwheedle world and that made things not easier. Others where still around and I got persuaded to help a friend of mine with heals they needed on their raids. Since I never refused the question of help I did so. Seems to me that all I can do is help people and get in trouble for it in some way or the other. Than again it was refreshing to use the trial and error method again and even exciting to see that on the first few attempts we got more than halfway.

It somehow distracted me from the loneliness I had but the nagging feeling was still dormant and reared it’s ugly head at times. In these moments I had to see Noh again, she could sooth my mind and talking to her was feeling all to familiar again.. I missed it

Knowing we where literally worlds apart things where not made easier for us, but we hung in there … barely.

Feelings are odd, they come and go but some stay slumbering, dormant but always present.

Night had her things to do with her guild, Staci had hers and I was doing mindless dailies what was not the best thing to do as it gave me time to think.

I missed Noh ... and now even more.

I guess that unless one of us made the decision we would not be on the same world and the distance would remain. I took a deep breath, had a few sleepless nights on weighing the advantages and the consequences and felt I did not had much of a choice. She would never return to me as from what happened here in the past with her guild and how she got used ... Literally used... add my experience from recent times and the choice was made.

I’d go to her and maybe we could start to pick up again on where we left off.

Who knows … maybe it was the right time.

Where it goes from now on, I do not know, I wish I did.

Literally in between 2 worlds at the moment and they are both are about the change.

Seems this had to be written, been on my mind for a long time now and it was looking for a way out and this was it than. I know where my destiny is, I only do not know if I can do what it takes to make it happen within a few days or even weeks. This time it will take longer and, for sure, will be needed to put in more effort than before.

So next time, a more happy adventure.

Priestly hugs.

Keni.

 
Strangers E-mail
Kenisha Nightshade - Friends list

 Sometimes it happens, you meet people and they actually want to help or are just friendly.

Sadly I have to say I know the sad version more than the good one, though, yestersay it did happen.

 

Walking around in Eversong Woods towards a quest I met her while she ran around also, gave her my fortitude buff as it only cost me a some mana and ran on, she invited me and we sort of stuck together doing quests and killing things.

 

It was nice to experience this, it has been a long time ago since I have been below the levels of 50 and the attitudes of “I want this” or “*ninja’d Item, evul laugh, *player left the group*” actions.

 

Hopefully she did not level to much and that hunter I pitied will also be there, would be nice to make a sort of level group and go from there.

 

Although that hunter part needs some more explaining.

Gathered some grenades and was able to throw one in time, she stopped and came back to me.

I thought I’d get my Belfish behind kicked but it ended in a conversation and it was actually nice.

Later on she turned 10 and I’d congratulated her, she now can get a pet.

It for sure will make life on her easier.

 

Will know more tonight when I can poke people again *smiles*

 

*cuddles*